Top 6 Reasons Why Corporate Women Avoid Therapy

TOP 6 REASONS WHY CORPORATE WOMEN AVOID THERAPY

After years of working with professional women, and more specifically women in corporate, I realized that I’m usually their last resort.

Actually, most of the time, I’m told that I was their last resort.

It’s not surprising.

Even with the increasingly amount of conversations being had about mental health, emotional wellness, and trauma-informed care, there’s still a lot of stigma around therapy.

And besides stigma, many people just don’t see the value in it.

Corporate women experience a lot of stress at their jobs and the higher up they are, the more stress they have. It doesn’t always mean that they don’t like their job, (even though many of them don’t) ,but the high demands make it difficult for them to prioritize self-care or to find time for therapeutic support.

Many corporate jobs offer perks that include therapy services but many times, employees don’t want to talk to an EAP therapist because it feels too close for comfort and they worry about their privacy. This leads them to have to reach out to a therapist on their own, which is how many of my clients begin their therapy journey with me.

Over time, I have found that these are some of the top reasons why corporate women avoid therapy or only consider it as a last resort.

If this is you, read on to see if any of these resonate:

1. You consider therapy to be a waste of time because you’re thinking of old school approaches where you just vent about your feelings and minimal progress happens.

2. Even though you want to, you struggle with prioritizing yourself and your wellbeing. You are so used to putting your needs before everyone else, that the idea of taking the time for your mental health and wellness seems daunting and pointless to you.

3. You’re really smart and then some. You are driven, ambitious, extremely dedicated to your professional career, value productivity, and are mostly led by logic. You understand mental health and why other people might go to therapy but you don’t think focusing on your emotions is a productive use of your time.

4. You’re avoiding doing the work that deep down you know you need to be doing because you fear that it will disrupt your lifestyle. Maybe you’re well aware of some things you could work on in therapy or you are finally piecing together how your overwhelming childhood is still impacting you today and you want to talk to someone about it. You might be scared, nervous about what it will be like to talk about these things, or even how your life may change after you work with a therapist.

5. You think a luxury vacation will give you a good enough reset. Or a good spa day. Or a rooftop premium brunch with friends. Or something material that will make you feel fabulous again. All of these things can certainly help you feel better, but they probably won’t be long-lasting.

6. And the absolute most common one is that you don’t have time. Now, although I know you’re busy and that your work and home life demands a lot of your time, what this one really means to me is that you don’t think therapy is a valuable use of your time. I’m almost positive that if your romantic partner or a child of yours was diagnosed with an urgent health issue and needed to see a specialist weekly and needed to be accompanied by you, that you would find the time.·      
   

   Do any or all of these resonate to you? Are you struggling with anxiety or with coping with the aftermath of an overwhelming or traumatic experience?

   If you’re ready to move past these reasons and start your work with a therapist and want someone who’s skilled and experienced working with professional women, and also trauma-informed, let’s schedule a consultation to see if we’re a good fit for each other.

Dr. Minerva Guerrero is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Westchester, New York. She is the owner of Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling, offering telehealth and in person therapy sessions. She specializes in treating anxiety and trauma in adults. For more information about her, make sure to visit her website www.mindmattersmhc.com or follow her on Instagram: mindmattersmhc.

Learn about the benefits of an EMDR Intensive vs. EMDR weekly therapy.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can be conducted either intensively (longer hours in one session) or weekly (one session per week). The benefits of an EMDR intensive includes:

1. Faster progress: An intensive approach allows for more sessions in a shorter period of time, which can lead to a faster resolution of trauma symptoms. One intensive session is the equivalent of months of therapy.

2. Intense treatment (hence “intensive” : You’re not spending time focusing on anything outside of the already agreed upon treatment goals so your EMDR intensive allows for a deeper processing of traumatic memories.

3. Increased accountability: An intensive approach can increase the accountability of both the therapist and the client, helping to ensure that the client makes progress towards their therapeutic goals.

4. Focused processing: This is ideal for clients who have one or two specific problems they are clear they want to work on. 

On the other hand, the benefits of weekly therapy may include:

1. Gradual progress: The slower pace of weekly therapy can be helpful for some individuals as it allows for a gradual processing of traumatic memories.

2. Better integration: Weekly therapy allows for time between sessions for the individual to integrate and process the work done in therapy. You can still do this with an intensive but you will have to coordinate with your therapist how to go about the follow-up.

3. Reduced intensity: The slower pace of weekly therapy can reduce the intensity of therapy, making it a good option for individuals who may not be able to tolerate an intensive approach.

4. More flexibility: Weekly sessions are better for clients that want more flexibility on what they discuss in session. They may have some awareness on what their struggles are and they want to be able to flow through all of them in therapy.

Ultimately, the choice between an intensive or weekly approach will depend on the client’s specific needs, therapeutic goals, and personal preferences. Some people prefer to work intensively. They’re the ones that would prefer an accelerated Master’s program vs a traditional 2 year program or binge watch an entire Netflix show on a lazy Sunday versus watching one episode per week (I don’t actually know those people even exist but maybe they do!). Either way, definitely consult with your therapist and see if they’re offering intensives and if they think you’d be a good fit and discuss your options.

Are you based in New York and want to schedule an EMDR Intensive for yourself? I provide EMDR intensives for other therapists and small business owners. Check out my EMDR Intensive page here.

Dr. Minerva Guerrero is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Westchester, New York. She is the owner of Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling, offering telehealth services and in person EMDR Intensives. She specializes in treating anxiety and trauma in adults. For more information about her, make sure to visit her website www.mindmattersmhc.com or follow her on Instagram: mindmattersmhc.

Three things to expect from an EMDR Intensive

EMDR intensives have become a new favorite for clients and therapists alike. If you’re thinking of scheduling your own intensive (you should!), these are 3 things you can definitely expect.

1. You will be surprised at how much work you did in only one intensive session.   

How amazing is it to have done so much healing work that normally can take months to do? Most clients are mind blown at the progress that they’ve made with only one intensive and are really excited, grateful, and energetic after, which is so fulfilling to witness as an EMDR therapist. However, it is normal to feel tired for at least a few days after your EMDR intensive. This may catch some folks by surprise because of the initial increased energy they feel but imagine completing a marathon in a few hours, you need to rest and recover. I highly suggest carving out time to decompress in your schedule for the first few days following your intensive.

2. There will be breaks to help you integrate the work you’re doing.

The amount of lengths of breaks of an EMDR intensive will vary depending on the format of your session which varies by providers but I do a definite one hour break for a meal or to walk around and stretch. There can be other breaks as needed but usually not for more than 10-15 minutes. So don’t think because it’s an intensive, that you can’t ask for one as you need.

3. Your pre-consultation is to best prepare you for the real deal.

Your EMDR therapist will most likely be meeting with you before your actual intensive in order to get to know you and what your goals are for the intensive, complete a comprehensive treatment plan, and prepare you with personalized resources to ensure that your intensive session is a success.

Keep in mind that EMDR is a highly individualized therapy, and the specifics of what you can expect during an intensive session will depend on your specific needs and goals. This will also depend on your provider and how they format their intensive EMDR sessions.

Are you based in New York and want to schedule an EMDR Intensive for yourself? I provide EMDR intensives for other therapists and small business owners. Check out my EMDR Intensive page here.

Dr. Minerva Guerrero is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Westchester, New York. She is the owner of Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling, offering telehealth services and in person EMDR Intensives. She specializes in treating anxiety and trauma in adults. For more information about her, make sure to visit her website www.mindmattersmhc.com or follow her on Instagram: mindmattersmhc.

Why Is Good Therapy So Expensive? And Why Don't A Lot of Therapists take Insurance?

The mental health field is about helping others, healing from trauma, learning from unhealthy patterns and moving towards peace, wellness, fulfillment, calm, amongst so many other things. AND it’s about MONEY. Yes. MONEY. And I’m talking about A LOT OF MONEY.

The average therapist spends thousands of dollars- well in the double-digits- just to get basic level clinical training in their Master’s program. If they also happen to get a PhD, we are now talking about anywhere close to a six-figure investment in total, depending on where they went to school. Now you can add all of the trainings, workshops, certifications, supervisions, and consultations, and the investment to enhance their clinical skills and be the BEST therapist for their clients skyrockets. Therapists also have their own therapists to make sure that they dealing with their own “stuff” so that they are not bringing it into their professional work. If your therapist owns their own therapy business, they also need to be able to cover their business costs as well.

So you get where I’m going with this? The therapists that most clients want to work with because of their specialties, all the fancy letters after their names, the testimonials given by former clients, ARE expensive and rightfully so.

Now, you might be saying that you totally get that they’re expensive but that’s not the problem. The problem for you is that so many therapists are not in network with insurance companies. You are RIGHT. The reason for that is not because the therapist doesn’t want to. As a therapist, I can confidently speak for the majority of us in the profession and say that we wish therapy was more accessible to everyone, even for ourselves, BUT insurance companies make it impossible for it to be that way. Although, there has been some minimal progress, especially since the Covid-19 pandemic, unfortunately, mental health wellness is not one of the most coveted values in our society and the reimbursement rate for clinical professionals is ridiculously low. Below, I summarize the top 3 reasons why I’m not in network with insurance companies.

Reason #1 Why I’m Not In Network: You Have to Be Given A Diagnosis

In order for your insurance to cover your therapy sessions, you must be given a diagnosis. Even if it’s not appropriate, there has to be a diagnosis. For example, if you are in therapy because you need support in coping with your recent break-up, you will have to be diagnosed with Depressive Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, or Adjustment Disorder at the very least. If you’ve read my about me section in my website, you already know that I am not in favor of labeling life challenges as a mental illness.

Reason #2 Why I’m Not In Network: It’s Not Completely Confidential

If you or your child eventually needs a federal background check, wants to go to the army, or a variety of other reasons, a diagnosis can be disclosed through your insurance company. It’s important to me that my clients feel safe to open up to me knowing that what’s said to me will stay between us.

Reason #3 Why I’m Not In Network: Insurance companies will then decide your treatment

Insurance companies determine the number of sessions and the frequency. Sometimes you may benefit from longer sessions, or twice a week, or maybe just once a month. This is a decision I feel most comfortable making in collaboration with my client, not one that I want dictated by an outside source.

Despite these reasons, I’m very aware that some people want to use some type of insurance benefit to help with the cost of therapy. Therefore, many therapists, including myself work with insurance companies as an out-of-network provider.

Dr. Minerva Guerrero is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Westchester, New York. She is the owner of Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling, offering telehealth services for all of New York State. She specializes in treating anxiety and trauma in adults. For more information about her, make sure to visit her website www.mindmattersmhc.com or follow her on Instagram: mindmattersmhc.

How Teens are Dealing with the Capital Coup

Young People are Desperate for Lawmakers to Learn a Lesson About Gun Control Following the Capitol Coup

"They are not immune to this epidemic, this gun violence, and they have the power to do something about it."

By Carolyn Twersky

This article first appeared in Seventeen magazine on January 20th, 2021. The direct link can be found here: https://www.seventeen.com/life/a35219117/young-people-capitol-coup-tiktok-gun-control-active-shooter-drills/

Two weeks ago, the nation watched as insurrectionists stormed the Capitol, quickly turning the center of America's democracy into a war ground. Many were shocked and disgusted as photos from the attack appeared on their televisions and newsfeeds, but the youth of America faced a different emotion, they related to the lawmakers and staffers who found themselves helpless and under attack.

When the men and women breached the Capitol on January 6th, the leaders of Congress were pulled from the house floor, where they were in the process of ratifying November's presidential election results. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, specifically, was taken from her podium by Capitol Police and moved to a safe location. Her staff, meanwhile, sought refuge in the Speaker's suite of offices. Pelosi told CBS News that the staffers piled into a room where they barricaded the door, turned off the lights, and hid under the table for two and a half hours as the insurrectionists trashed the Speaker's office. But how did the young staffers know exactly how to handle an active shooter situation? They grew up in the American school system.

Ever since the shooting at Columbine High School in 1999, schools around the country have been running drills to prepare their students for the possibility of an active shooter. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, between 2005 and 2006, 40% of schools ran these drills. By 2016, that number increased to 95 percent.

"In the Fairfax County Public School system, we had a lockdown drill every year where we were taught to turn off the lights, block all the windows, not open the door for any reason, and to stay away from the windows," said Kate*, a 23-year-old Pelosi staffer who was present on the day of the coup. Kate later attended Virginia Tech, where she said the entire student body was prepped during orientation on how to deal with an active shooter situation. This knowledge was put to use on January 6th. "Once we were settled in the dark, what was running through my mind was to be ready to run and fight," she said. "Thank goodness that didn’t have to happen."

The connection between what occurred in the Capitol and what happens in schools across the country wasn't only obvious to those who were present on the day of the coup. Young people watching the events take place couldn't help but notice, not only the parallels, but also the irony of lawmakers facing this situation.

"Our entire lives, we've been asking, 'What's next?'" said Shannon Kennedy aka Nonnah, a 23-year-old from Connecticut. Nonnah was two when Columbine occurred, so she grew up practicing active shooter drills in school. Being from Connecticut also means her school went into lockdown on December 14, 2012, when a 20-year-old man killed 26 people at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut. "We've faced school shootings, we've dealt with bomb threats. What's going to get us now? It could be anything, and these [lawmakers] are part of the reason why we're in this situation."

It's a harsh sentiment, but for years young people have been rallying together to push for better gun laws in the wake of school shootings. And for years, Republican leaders in the House of Representatives and the Senate have done nothing.

"All they say is 'thoughts and prayers' after a mass shooting," Nonnah said. "These people lost their kids, what are 'thoughts and prayers' going to do?"

So, after watching the news on January 6th, Nonnah turned to TikTok, where she boasts over 40,000 followers. "Someone tell the U.S. Congress to just 'hide under their desks' during the lockdown like they made high schoolers do during school shootings," she wrote on a video of her lip syncing a line from Nicki Minaj's song, "Barbie Goin Bad."

Nonnah is not the only person who used TikTok to express their frustrations following the events at the Capitol. Kennie Tatis, who is used to getting political for his 951,000 followers on the app, put on his nicest suit and got to recording after spending the day watching the news with his family.

Kennie's video is highly satirical and acts as almost a public service announcement to lawmakers, telling them what to do if they ever find themselves in another active shooter situation. His "tips" include barricading the doors, turning off the lights, staying quiet, and playing dead. He ends the video by signing off, "sincerely, every member of the American student body."

"I wanted it to put the Senators in my shoes. In the shoes of the American student body, the teachers, everyone," Kennie said when asked about his reason for making the video. "The senators have never been in a situation like this. It's a foreign concept to them."

Kennie's video did get some backlash online, with some viewers calling it tone deaf and inappropriate given the events that had just occurred. Kennie notes that it was the "older audiences" on Facebook and Twitter that didn't seem to understand his reasoning for making the video. On TikTok, which has a markedly younger audience, though, the response was mostly positive.

It's common for those who have dealt with tragedy to turn to jokes or satire as a coping mechanism and Dr. Minerva Guerrero, Ph.D., LMHC, admitted that humor can definitely be used to help people recover from trauma.

"I tend to think that if you are able to laugh or poke a little fun at yourself or something that you're experiencing, you're able to do so because you've stepped back from the experience at least a little bit and are not currently consumed by it," she explained. "You now can observe this as something that has happened to you, not something that consumes you."

At 23, Nonnah, like many others her age, has experienced 9/11, the 2008 economic crash, and of course, the current pandemic, just to name a few life-changing events and she has used humor to get her through it all. "We've been surrounded by trauma," she said. "In the words of Wendy Williams, 'If we don't laugh, we will cry.' What else is there to do but make a joke?"

In fact, Nonnah feels like the only time she's heard is when she's using humor. "We've protested, we've begged, we've asked for change, we've gotten petitions," she said. "When we're screaming for help with global crises, global warming, and school shootings, everyone's like, 'I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you.' When we make jokes, they pay attention."

Of course, that "attention" may just consist of a Facebook post criticizing these young people for their "tone deaf behavior," but hey, it is something. Because the youth aren't just making these videos because they think they're funny, and they're not just making these videos to cope, they actually do want to enact real change. It just so happens the platform they hold is on a short-form video app.

"I hope that what happened in the Capitol will change something and will show these senators that gun violence is an actual problem and it affects everyone," Kennie said. "They are not immune to this epidemic, this gun violence, and they have the power to do something about it."

*The Pelosi staffer wished to remain anonymous. The name Kate has been given to her simply for the purposes of clarity.

Why Stress Eating Occurs in a Crisis and a Pandemic

At a Whole Foods, the snack aisle was the first to empty out. Why stress eating occurs in a crisis.

By: Jeanne Muchnick

Charin Freundlich can't remember the last time she ate Lay's Sour Cream & Onion potato chips. But with her adult kids home from the city and the coronavirus in full swing, the Rye Brook resident said she's eating them like candy.

Along with actual candy.

She said her family of four has consumed at least nine of those movie-theater size boxes of Skittles, Milk Duds, Swedish Fish and Sour Patch Kids thanks to a recent Stop & Shop promotion of three for $3.

"It’s like a sugar demon has possessed us," Freundlich said. "I haven't eaten this stuff since my kids were in elementary school." They're now ages 28 and 31. 

Ismeida Vasquez Santos of Nanuet is in the same boat. Potato chips and/or Doritos were something she allowed herself maybe once a week, but lately, she's been having a couple of fistfuls daily, along with Oreos. She's also back on carbs. "I had been cutting down on bread in the house prior to the pandemic," she told lohud. "But now we're stocked up."

In fact, according to Pleasantville resident Erica Gen, who works at the Chappaqua Whole Foods Market, snack food was the first to sell out completely, with the chip and popcorn aisle empty, although Gen noted it's being replenished.

Welcome to the world of stress eating.

With the coronavirus hitting New York hard and people cooped up inside for two weeks and counting, more and more folks are reaching for snacks they previously had avoided.

Whether it's doughnuts — Pomona native Lyndsay Brianne's item of choice — ice cream (Delene Bradia of Valley Cottage), black licorice (Mary Rodgers of Katonah's guilty pleasure), cereal (Colleen Kelly of West Haverstraw) or chocolate chip cookies (me!), eating items beyond what you normally consume is extremely normal.

So says Minerva Guerrero, owner of Scarsdale-based Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling, PLLC, a mental health clinic that specializes in anxiety and trauma.

"Most people are home a lot more than the usual and are in close proximity to their fridge or pantry, which means they're reaching for food and snacks more than usual," she explained. "This could be out of boredom or simply because food is comforting.

"People are also anxious and stressed right now, and with all the uncertainties about the near future, we want at least something that offers immediate gratification."

Guerrero's advice for those now baking or buying outside their normal habits is to find another activity that fulfills you. That might mean yoga, going for a walk, playing a game with your kids, or reading a book. 

Meditating is high on her list as it helps folks be present and aware of the current moment. One practice she suggests is to stop and ask yourself why you're reaching for the bag of chips. Ask yourself: Are you truly hungry? And, do you really want to eat X, Y or Z?

"If the answer is yes, then eat the chips!" Guerrero says.

"The idea behind mindful eating is not to feel guilty about what you’re eating but to really notice what foods you're eating and eating only until satisfied. This conscious eating practice will help you significantly reduce stress eating and reduce any guilt feelings after."

You can also, Guerrero suggests, opt for healthier foods such as fruits, vegetables and whole grains.

"During times of stress, it’s important to eat foods that boost your immune system because as we know chronic stress can be damaging to the body," she said. 

For Mary Rodgers of Katonah, whose stress eating habit has been black licorice and popcorn, her goal is just trying to maintain and not gain, though she admits it's been a losing battle.

"I miss yoga but my instructor has set up Zoom classes which I will be attending when I can," she said. "I also try to get out and walk as much as possible."

Beth Bate DuBoff of Stony Point is also trying to stay on track by logging into Weight Watchers Zoom meetings.

Susan Zeitman Smith of North Rockland has another tactic, a saying she saw circulated on social media: Every few days put your jeans on to make sure they still fit, she wrote in a Facebook message: "Pajamas and sweats will make you feel all is still okay."

Jeanne Muchnick covers food and dining. Click here for her most recent articles and follow her latest dining adventures on Instagram @lohud_food. 

This article appeared in the Journal News and https://www.lohud.com/story/life/food/restaurants/2020/03/31/coronavirus-turbulent-times-stress-eating/2925105001/ on March 31, 2020.

6 Signs of Anxiety and How to Feel Better

Ines Mato, founder of the The Anxious Latina, interviewed me for a special article focused on how to spot anxiety and ways to cope. The article is featured in this blog post. Please make sure to visit https://theanxiouslatina.com/ for more informational mental health related content. Thank you Ines for a great interview!

Throughout my life I have wondered about the most common signs of anxiety and how to feel better about it. Does anxiety mean worrying constantly? Feeling your heart beating faster than usual? Experiencing negative feelings? As a result of the Coronavirus, many of us are experiencing some of these issues. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to dive deeper into the main signs of anxiety and offer practical tools for feeling less anxious.

For this article, I’m interviewing Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She tells us about anxiety during the Coronavirus, six signs of anxiety and what we can do about it to feel better.

How has the Coronavirus affected our anxiety levels?

With the inability to go out, some people are struggling with not having things to occupy their time and staying in the present moment. People who struggle with anxiety are often thinking about the future, meaning that they are rarely present in the here and now. Worrying about the Coronavirus and when the pandemic will end also ends numerous unanswered questions for people who already have anxious thoughts.

What are the top signs of anxiety we should look for?

Anxiety manifests in different ways for people but these are some of the most common symptoms:

1. Constantly expecting something bad to happen

2. Dysregulated sleep

3. Sweaty palms

4. Tightness in chest

5. Digestive issues

6. Avoidance of things that we assume will cause anxiety

What do you recommend for Latina women to do when we experience anxiety?

Unfortunately, mental health issues remain a stigma, especially in Latino communities. This makes it hard for Latina women to share what they’re experiencing. Therefore, they don’t get the support that they need, while also suffering in silence. I suggest finding someone that you trust and sharing your experience. Many times, just sharing your experiencing with someone else and hearing words of support, can make the biggest difference.

I also recommend Latina women to find professional support online. There are so many resources to support you. You can find great information online on blogs, websites, and professional pages. There are also many groups on Facebook where you can find support and validation from other Latina women struggling with anxiety. Finally, you can also find a mental health professional who can work with you one-on-one or in a group format. Some online directories to find one include Latinxtherapy.com, TherapyforBlackGirls.com and PsychologyToday.com

What are some tips we can implement at home to reduce anxiety quickly?

Find your breath

It may seem simplistic when you’re feeling out of control and fearful but it works. One breathing exercise is called belly breathing. It involves placing one hand on your chest and the other on your belly. You breathe in through your nose, while noticing your belly rise. Your chest should be somewhat still. You then exhale through your mouth, while engaging your belly muscles to push air out at every exhale.

Being present

Another one is to practice being mindful of the present moment. What are you doing right now? What is around you? Can you name 3 objects that you see in front of you? Practicing being mindful will help reduce the tendency of always being ahead and thinking about the future.

Imagine a place that induces calm feelings

When I do this with my clients, they usually envision the beach or a park. Try to imagine a calm place as vividly as possible including all of your senses. Once you do this, keep image in your back pocket and instead of imagining worst case scenarios, see if you can practice being at your calm place until you actually feel calmer.

Dr. Minerva Guerrero is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Westchester, New York. She is the owner of Mind Matters Mental Health Counseling, offering in person and telehealth services. She specializes in treating anxiety and trauma in teens and adults. For more information about here, make sure to visit her website www.mindmattersmhc.com or follow her on Instagram: mindmattersmhc.

A Scarsdale, NY Therapist Shares Mindfulness Tips to Manage Anxiety in a Crisis

The dangers that the coronavirus poses to all of us are very real. But, the fear and anxiety that we are experiencing as a response to this is spreading faster than the actual virus. Anxiety tells us that we’re in danger and we need to do something in order to survive. We either get ready to fight, run as far away as we can from our stressor, or do nothing. This “fight, flight, or freeze” response is not a conscious one, rather something that happens automatically. This fear response, which is absolutely beneficial when we’re facing imminent danger is now in complete overdrive for many of us. Nonstop alarming information comes into our awareness through news sources and social media. So, it might be very difficult for most people to find some sense of peace and calm that we all are searching for during these challenging times.

Mindfulness is the state of consciousness and bringing awareness to something. It helps us stay focused on the present moment without getting too caught up in all the unforeseeable aspects of the future. 

Here are 3 key areas to be mindful of during a crisis:

1.    ​​Be mindful of how much time you’re spending watching the news.

I know most of us are home right now. And, it’s pretty easy to have the tv on most of the day, even if it’s just for background noise. But, I highly suggest limiting your news coverage intake. It’s important to stay informed of COVID 19 updates. Yet, overdoing it is going to interfere with you establishing some type of normalcy in your home and life in the middle of a crisis. I recommend sticking to one credible news source and setting a limited amount of time to watch or listen to stay updated in current life events. At most, 30 minutes to an hour. It may help if, throughout the day, you pause and ask yourself, “Is what I am engaging with contributing to fear or peace?”

 2. Explore and acknowledge any new opportunities this time may be presented to you.

Many of us are not used to working from home and our schedules have completely changed. So, are there any opportunities this time is offering you? Some people are happy to be spending more time with their children or having more time to cook a home-cooked meal. Others are appreciating the extra hour or two in the morning from not having to get dressed up and commute to work. I’ve now gotten to expand my skill-set as I’ve been navigating doing solely virtual teaching, virtual learning, and virtual therapy. I didn’t ask for this, but I have learned a lot in the past few weeks that is only adding to my professional set of skills.

3. Notice how social distancing and isolation are affecting you.

Social distancing is not meant to be social isolation. Yes, we must be physically distant from those we love. Still, we need to be creative with ideas of how to stay connected with other people to cope with the loneliness. Some coping tips I’ve offered relate to virtual strategies. I’ve reminded everyone that virtual chats don’t have to be just for work and this has been helpful for many people. You could check out your favorite DJ’s website or social media page and see if they’re hosting a dance party online. Or, start looking for some new online classes to take. Some people have been taking virtual cooking classes, gym classes, and even dance classes. This may be a good time to learn how to salsa! If you’re used to going out with friends for Sunday brunch, host a virtual brunch and enjoy talking to your friends while drinking a mimosa!

3 mindfulness meditation techniques to practice being calm during stressful times

1. Deep Muscle Relaxation

   Find a comfortable position and close your eyes.

   Tighten each of the following muscle groups for 6-7 seconds and then relax them:

   1. Hands and arms

   2. Head, face, and throat

   3. Neck and shoulders

   4. Chest, shoulders, and upper back

   5. Lower back, stomach, and hips

   6. HIps, legs, and feet

   After relaxing each muscle group, exhale and relax fully and completely for about 20 seconds.

   Scan your body to see if there are any remaining areas of tension and attend to them.

2. Body Scan

   A body scan is very similar to deep muscle relaxation except you’re not actually tensing or relaxing separate muscle groups. You are actually just noticing and being mindful of what your body feels like. A typical Body Scan runs through each part of the body, paying special attention to the way each area feels, starting from the feet and moving upwards. You start by bringing awareness to your breath, by noticing the rhythm of you breathing and out. Then, you focus your awareness on different parts of the body that feel sore or heavy and also those parts where you feel absolutely nothing. You can practice this on your own or you can search for a guided meditation that will lead you into this.

3. Guided Meditations

   Some people like using guided meditations so that they can follow along with someone else’s instructions. You can easily Youtube “guided meditations” and find one that you like and plan to do it at least 5-10 minutes a day. I highly recommend using the Headspace app for guided meditations. For New Yorkers, Headspace as offered free guided meditations and other mental health resources at headspace.com/ny. If you’re not in New York, you can still enjoy some of these meditations and resources as Headspace has recently made them accessible for free during this current pandemic. You can get that at https://www.headspace.com/covid-19.

GET STARTED WITH ANXIETY THERAPY IN NEW YORK

If you are interested in getting started with a therapist who specializes in anxiety, I’m located in the Scarsdale area of Westchester and offer online therapy to anyone interested in the state of New York! To learn more about me and all the counseling services that I offer, explore my therapy website and feel free to send me an email at mguerrero@mindmattersmhc.com.

I want to be sure you are comfortable with this process from start to finish. If you have any insurance and procedural questions after reading this website, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first. To begin counseling in my Westchester counseling office, follow these simple steps:

1. Click the button below to schedule our first session.

2. Meet with me, Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a professional trauama & anxiety therapist.

3. Face your anxiety & begin to feel more peace and less worry about your life!

MORE THERAPY SERVICES IN WESTCHESTER, NY

In my Scarsdale therapy practice, I try to help each individual as fully as possible. In addition to counseling for anxiety, I offer teen counseling, therapy for adults, trauma therapy, and herapy for anxiety. Because I want to see you feel better quickly and retain that progress for years to come, I use effective counseling techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Cognitive Processing Therapy. I also support anyone in the state of New York through online therapy If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

3 Reasons Why COVID 19 is Triggering Anxiety & Trauma Symptoms in New York

People that have experienced trauma or who have PTSD often report symptoms like having nightmares or feeling as if they can’t escape their trauma. Although, many times these nightmares or flashbacks are bits and pieces of trauma replayed, many times it’s not.

Often, feeling stuck in a trauma actually has more to do with re-experiencing the negative emotions that you felt during your trauma, such as fear, anxiety, or helplessness, rather than the actual trauma memory. It’s also very common for the scent of a perfume, loud screaming, or a particular taste to take people back to their traumatic experience. For trauma experts, this makes a lot of sense because we know that trauma is not just stored in our brains but is also stored in our bodies and in our senses.  

So when we are going through a crisis, like we all currently are with the coronavirus pandemic, our mindset is no longer in “living” and “thriving” but rather “surviving”. This switch in mindset can have us feeling anxious, scared, and helpless, triggering our trauma and anxiety symptoms.

Here are some reasons Covid-19 can be triggering mental health concerns for people:

SOCIAL DISTANCING

From a public health perspective, social distancing makes sense. Stay-at-home orders are an absolute must to flatten the curve and reduce the number of people exposed to the coronavirus. Social distancing works but it will take some time to see results. This means that even though in New York, where we are currently in quarantine, we have no idea how long this will last. People all around the world are finding unique ways to stay connected to loved ones (I definitely am!). But, we can’t deny that Zoom videos and phone calls with friends and family are just not the same as being in person. Feeling isolated from others can be triggering for people who have anxiety and trauma histories. Because, usually those symptoms already make it difficult to connect and engage with others. Social distancing right now is adding to that.

If you’re in New York, you’ve been waiting for Spring to come. Looking forward to warmer weather. Enjoying more sunlight. Even having some fun during Spring Break! Now, you’re not able to enjoy any of it right now because you’re stuck at home. All of this can make your trauma, anxiety, and depression symptoms worse. Also, if you’re home with someone who triggers your anxiety or plays a direct role in your trauma, your symptoms may also be much higher than your norm.

INCREASED HEALTH ANXIETY & WORRY

We’re scared. All of us. Maybe, some more than others. However, it’s natural right now to be worried about exposure to coronavirus or someone we love actually getting it. We’re washing our hands more than usual. Now, being extra mindful of what we touch. Even using gloves and masks if we have to go pick up groceries. Staying far away from people when in public places. And, the list goes on. Whether you struggled with anxiety before the pandemic or not, I’m sure you're noticing an increase in your anxiety now. An increase in anxious thoughts is understandable given our circumstances.

DECREASED WORK AND FINANCIAL SECURITY DURING COVID

Since the pandemic started, many people have gotten laid off. Others have gotten their hours cut. And, businesses -big and small- have been deeply affected. Of course, there is a lot of uncertainty right now. And, with that comes anxiety and fear. There is an even greater concern about financial stability and being able to afford basic necessities. Right now, many people are not going to prioritize their mental wellness. As a mental health counselor, this is particularly concerning. Because, many people who need the support now and for months to come won’t be thinking about this because other needs have to be prioritized.

The list can go on and on about how the COVID 19 pandemic is affecting not just our physical health but our mental health too. Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Practice being kind to yourself. Especially if you notice that your mental health symptoms are worsening.

These are difficult times right now.  You are doing the best you can.

You matter. Your body matters. Your mind matters.

Be safe & Be well.

Dr. G

GET STARTED WITH THERAPY IN NEW YORK

If you live in New York and are interested in getting started with a therapist who specializes in trauma and anxiety, my counseling office is located in the Scarsdale area of Westchester and would love to work with you! To learn more about me and all the counseling services that I offer, explore my therapy website and feel free to send me an email at mguerrero@mindmattersmhc.com.

I want to be sure you are comfortable with this process from start to finish. If you have any insurance and procedural questions after reading this website, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first. To begin counseling in my Westchester counseling office, follow these simple steps:

1. Click the button below to schedule our first session.

2. Meet with me, Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a professional and experienced therapist.

3. Begin to feel more peace and less worry about your life!

MORE THERAPY SERVICES IN WESTCHESTER, NY

In my Scarsdale therapy practice, I try to help each individual as fully as possible. This is why I also provide therapy for teens, therapy for adults, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Cognitive Processing Therapy. I also support anyone in the state of New York through online therapy If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

5 Tips to Prepare for Online Therapy in New York

Online therapy is all about preference.

There are a lot of people who prefer to have their therapy sessions face-to-face, while other people LOVE online sessions. Some people prefer the comfort of having their sessions in their own homes. They also appreciate not having to worry about commuting to their therapist. For those who use technology regularly, online sessions can actually feel easier. Often, more comfortable than talking to someone face-to-face.

Now, with the Coronavirus pandemic, mental health professionals are conducting therapy sessions online. We too are adapting the model to allow for social distancing. This means that even if it’s not their preference, many people are meeting their therapists online right now. With so many therapy sessions happening in the cyber-world now, I want to share some tips to help you prepare for online sessions. My hope is to make it a more comfortable experience.

Prepare your setting for online counseling

In your session, you most likely will be talking to your counselor about vulnerable things like trauma, anxiety, depression, and related things that you don’t want other people listening to. I know this may be trickier for some than for others, but you need to have your session in a private space. This can be your room, office, porch, or even your car if nothing else works.

• Pick a space that has good lighting to make the view as clear as possible for your therapist.  

• Be mindful of what’s in your background and in your counselor’s view. Your therapist may comment on your fancy curtains or the beautiful painting on the wall. This isn’t a bad thing but just be aware of what you are comfortable with your therapist seeing.

Use headphones for your online therapy session

If you live with someone else, it may be best to have a pair of earphones handy. You can also ask family members or roommates to also use headphones while listening to music or watching tv to ensure greater privacy.

Be mindful of interruptions during online counseling

• If you are using your phone, laptop, or tablet, be sure to put your device on Do Not Disturb or on airplane mode. Although it might excite you to be notified that your new shoes were just delivered (that definitely makes me happy!), the email pop-up can be distracting for both you and your therapist.

• If there are kids in your home, interruptions may be inevitable. However, try your absolute best to give them an activity that will keep them busy during your session or have an adult in the home watch them when possible.

Keep the therapy essentials close:

• Make sure to have tissues and water nearby. It might also be helpful to have a journal or notepad handy for you to take notes as needed.

• Also, think ahead of time if having your pet nearby is important to you or not. For some people, pets can be distracting, while for others they are especially comforting.

For instance, I have two dogs and a cat who I love to pieces. However, I never really know when they’re going to start barking or when my cat is going to play hockey with the pens on my desk. Therefore, they’ve lost their privileges to attend my online counseling sessions! At least until they gain my trust again! :)

One of the few pictures I have of the three of my fur babies together! :)

Consider internet reception quality & Charge your device

• Imagine being in the middle of a breakthrough in your online session that has completely enlightened you and right when you’re in the middle of processing this, your phone dies or computer freezes. This is a therapy nightmare!

• Make sure to fully charge whatever device you plan to use for your online therapy session or have it charging during your session.

• Do not pick a room for your session where you know it has bad service. Sometimes things happen, but you want to set yourself up to have the smoothest session possible.

You and your therapist should agree on a plan of what to do if your session is interrupted due to WIFI issues. Make sure you understand what that is and follow through.

It’s really important to mention that if you’re an adult experiencing domestic violence or a teen experiencing abuse from parents, it is absolutely important to only consider having online sessions if you can find a private space in your home, a safe device that your abuser will not look through, and a safe time to have your session where no one can eavesdrop.

I hope these tips are helpful for you if you’ve been unsure about starting therapy or how to best prepare for your online counseling session!

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ONLINE THERAPY IN NEW YORK?

To learn more about me, my counseling services, and how to get started with online therapy in New York, make sure to explore my therapy website and feel free to send me an email at mguerrero@mindmattersmhc.com. To get started anywhere in the state with online therapy in New York, simply:

1. Contact me to schedule our first appointment

2. Me with me, Dr. G, a skilled online therapist in Westchester, NY

3. Begin your journey toward healing from the comfort of your own space

ADDITIONAL WESTCHESTER, NY THERAPY SERVICES

From my Scarsdale therapy practice, I want to bring peace and contentment to all types of individuals and families. This is why I provide therapy for adults, therapy for teens, and other specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Cognitive Processing Therapy. If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

10 Grounding Skills To Help Cope with Flashbacks Related to Trauma

One of the most common symptoms associated with PTSD and trauma that my clients want help with are flashbacks.

What Are Trauma Flashbacks?

Flashbacks are when you re-experience a traumatic memory in such a way that you think you are currently reliving it. A flashback can be a temporary moment where you are still able to be connected to your present or you may lose all awareness of what’s currently happening around you and be immediately transported back to your trauma. For example, the smell of a perfume or cologne can remind you of a former abuser and instantly take you back to the abuse you experienced.

Triggers of Past Trauma

In order to help cope with flashbacks, it’s very helpful to know what your triggers are. For example, being around certain people or going to specific places/events may trigger flashbacks of past trauma. I don’t suggest you avoid these things, although people who have experienced trauma often do, I just recommend that try to learn what your triggers are so that you’re better prepared to handle them.

Grounding Skills Can Help You Cope With Trauma

In my trauma work with clients, I spend a lot of time teaching grounding techniques to help clients cope with flashbacks. As the name implies, grounding is a particular way of coping that is designed to "ground" you to keep you in the present moment.  Grounding techniques help us be in the present moment rather than in the traumatic experience of the past. It’s also really good to use your five senses (sound, touch, smell, taste, and sight) when trying to ground yourself.

Here are a few grounding techniques you can try:

1. Look around the space you’re in and notice what’s around you- colors, objects, and people.

2. Notice and listen to the sounds around you. Do you hear cars, voices, music, birds chirping?

3. Make sure your eyes are open and if you’re in a dark space, turn on a light.

4. Notice your body. How do your clothes feel on your skin?  How is the chair or floor supporting you?  Can you feel your toes in your shoes?

5. Move your body. Make sure to stretch, dance, clap your hands, or walk around. If you can’t do that because of your current setting, wiggle your toes or rub your hands on your legs.

6. Breathe. When we get scared, we either forget to breathe or breathe too quickly. Make sure to take slow deep breathes to help calm your body.

7. Ask yourself questions in order to bring yourself into the present moment: Where am I right now? What day is it? What are my plans for the day?

8. Recite a positive affirmation: It might help to have a few affirmations or mantras already written down in your iPhone. Try “I am safe right now”, “I am in control”,  or “This will pass”.  

9. Eat something: Mindfully savor a mint, candy, chocolate, or any kind of food. If it’s something sour, even better!

10. Hold on to something: Notice how this item feels in your hand. This can be a piece of ice, a tissue, a pen. Anything. If you don’t have an item around that you can grab on to, squeeze your hands as tight as you can.

You Are NOT Going Crazy

Remember that flashbacks are a common symptom for people who have experienced trauma. You are not going crazy. Something bad happened to you and has left a lasting impression in your brain. These grounding skills are a great way to cope with flashbacks but the best way to prevent them is to get professional help. The fact that you are experiencing flashbacks is a sign that you are struggling to cope with the traumatic event you experienced.

NEED A LITTLE MORE? LET ME HELP YOU!

If you live in New York and are interested in getting started with a therapist who specializes in trauma, I’m located in the Scarsdale area of Westchester and would love to work with you! To learn more about me and all the counseling services that I offer, explore my therapy website and feel free to send me an email at mguerrero@mindmattersmhc.com.

I want to be sure you are comfortable with this process from start to finish. If you still have insurance and procedural questions after reading this website, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first.

ADDITIONAL WESTCHESTER, NY THERAPY SERVICES

From my Scarsdale therapy practice, I want to bring peace and contentment to all types of individuals and families. This is why I provide therapy for adults, therapy for teens, and other specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Cognitive Processing Therapy. In fact, I can support anyone in the state through online therapy in New York. If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

Dare To End Anxiety

Don’t you just hate that feeling of anxiety? That nervous energy in your body that starts off as nothing but can escalate really fast if you let it. Anxiety can appear at any given moment, regardless of whether you’re aware of your anxiety triggers or not. There are several treatments known to be effective for anxiety, like Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). As a trauma and anxiety specialist, I am very familiar with both of these treatments but in this blog post, I provide a brief summary of the DARE approach developed by Barry McDonagh that I think can be very helpful for so many people struggling with anxiety.

There are four steps in the DARE approach.

Step 1: Defuse

Usually, when we feel anxiety, we start to ask ourselves “What if?” questions and it’s really rare that those questions are positive like “What if I get really good news today?” or “What if I get promoted after doing such a great job at my presentation?”. When we’re anxious, we instead ask ourselves “What if I lose my job and have to move back in with my parents?” What if I have a panic attack in front of everyone?” “What if these thoughts never stop and I go crazy?” These are automatic negative thoughts that are completely outside of our control. The best thing we can do when we have anxious negative thoughts is respond to them in the right way, to stop them from spiraling. So the first step is to Defuse. The next time you have a negative “What if?” question try answering with “SO WHAT!” or “OH WELL”.

• “What if I lose my job and have to move back in with my parents?”

  • SO WHAT!

  • Remind yourself that you’re fully capable of finding a new job and living with your parents will just be temporary.

• “What if I have a panic attack in front of everyone?”

  • OH WELL.

  • Someone will help you if you have a panic attack and before you know it, the panic attack will be over.

• “What if these thoughts never stop and I go crazy?”

  • OH WELL.

  • At some point, your mind is going to settle and your thoughts will stop.

Although this first step might seem simplistic, the reality is that even if some of your anxious thoughts are really terrifying for you, being anxious about them isn’t going to make these thoughts disappear. Giving in to your anxious thoughts is just going to make you suffer so much more than you need to.  

Step 2: Allow

Now that you’ve defused your anxious thoughts from spiraling, now you need to accept your anxious feelings and allow them to do whatever they want to do. Sounds crazy right? I know it does because when you’re anxious, you desperately want to keep everything in order to maintain control—letting your anxiety do whatever it wants to do is the complete opposite of what you want to do!

Here’s the deal: The more you fight anxiety, the more it’s going to fight you back- and I hate to tell you but most likely, your anxiety is going to win. Allow your anxiety to be with you. Say hi to it. Befriend it even.

I had an important presentation a few months ago, and my anxiety was through the roof. Right before I walked in, I told my anxiety “Let’s do this!”. I didn’t want my anxiety to be with me, but it was there and it wasn’t going anywhere so I invited it to join me. By the way, my presentation was AMAZING! :)

The more you welcome anxiety, the faster your anxiety will drop.

Step 3: Run Toward

Usually, when we have anxiety, our automatic thoughts are related to fear. What if instead of thinking something bad is going to happen, you tell yourself that something good is about to happen. If you think about it,  feelings associated with fear and feelings associated with excitement are pretty similar. Do those “butterflies in your stomach” ring a bell?

Once you can respond to your anxious feelings as just nervous energy in your body, you’re less likely to view them as a threat. Choose to tell yourself, “I wonder what good things this feeling is preparing me for” or “I’m excited for what’s coming”. This may sound crazy but remember, you’re sending a message to your brain that says “I’m not worried about you.”

Step 4: Engage

So you’ve done steps 1-3, now it’s time to seal the deal to not let your anxious mind try to suck you back into fear. You need to engage in something that will take up your attention. In therapy, we often call this, the use of coping skills. It can be anything. Here are some suggestions: reading a book, exercising, going out with friends, listening to music, or whatever works for you. The key is to do something that will occupy your mind.

To recap, the next time you feel anxiety, remember to DARE

1. Once you become aware that you’re anxious, defuse it immediately but taking a “so what, oh well” mentality.

2. Instead of trying to fight off your anxiety, accept and allow your anxiety to be with you.

3. Change your perspective fearing your anxiety, by telling yourself that you’re excited about what lies ahead. Run toward it!

4. Lastly, engage in an activity that occupies your mind fully.

As a beginner using this approach, you may have to fake it until you make it, meaning it may take some practice to genuinely believe in these steps, but once you do it, you’ll notice the shift.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the DARE approach! What are some of the things you do to help reduce your anxiety?

BEGIN Anxiety THERAPY IN SCARSDALE, NY

Taking time for your mental health is key to overall wellbeing, especially as a teen, young adult or working professional. Let’s get you feeling good so you can keep doing amazing things for the world! To begin counseling in my Westchester counseling office, follow these simple steps:

1. Click the button below to schedule our first session.

2. Meet with me, Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a professional and experienced anxiety therapist.

3. Begin to feel more peace and less worry about your life!

I want all of your questions to be answered the entire way. If you still have insurance and procedural questions after reading this, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first.

MORE THERAPY SERVICES IN WESTCHESTER, NY

In my Scarsdale therapy practice, I try to help each individual as fully as possible. This is why I also provide therapy for teens, therapy for adults, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Cognitive Processing Therapy. If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

Loving Yourself After Surviving Trauma

If you’ve struggled with self-esteem and self-care, learning to love yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It’s even more complex if you’ve been through trauma and have been made to feel unworthy or unlovable.  But I’m here to remind you that you are worthy of love and so very deserving of it.

Tips for Boosting Your Self Love from a Trauma Therapist

After helping so many survivors, I am thrilled to share my best #TheraTips for how to show yourself the love you deserve after surviving trauma.

Self-Love Tip #1: Stop Hiding Yourself from the World

People who have experienced trauma often find themselves avoiding. Avoiding people, avoiding attention, avoiding intimacy, avoiding feelings, or avoiding anything that could remind them at all about the trauma. I get it. Avoidance keeps you safe. Avoidance keeps you from the unknown. But avoidance also keeps you from living and fully embracing what the world has to offer you and what you can offer the world. I’ve worked with many trauma survivors who have hidden so much of themselves from others, that they also realize that in many ways, they have also been hiding from themselves. Have you gotten to know who you are after your trauma? If your trauma occurred when you were a child, how does your adult-self remember your inner child? How has that impacted how you see yourself as an adult today? I encourage you to think about letting yourself shine through, not just to other people, but to yourself as well.

Self-Love Tip #2: Don’t force yourself to find meaning or a silver lining in your trauma. But if you see it, don’t shy away from it!   

Meaning is one of the values I highly prioritize in my counseling work with clients. Meaning is not something we can directly search for and obtain. It is an ongoing process we will struggle with throughout our entire lives. In my work with clients, I’ve found that lots of people are struggling with a lack of meaning or purpose in their lives, especially in these modern times. Going through a trauma impacts our lives in such a way that sometimes the meaning in our lives is even harder to recognize or can even be non-existent. Some trauma survivors struggle with enjoying activities that they used to love or have difficulty experiencing positive emotions like joy or happiness. However, it’s also common for people who have gone through trauma, to experience more meaning in their life is at least one way and see a silver lining. The most common things I’ve heard include developing an appreciation for the little things in life like a sunny day or a good meal, feeling more aligned with their spirituality, embracing their relationships with family and friends, and feeling more resilient and even proud of overcoming their trauma. I don’t encourage anyone to force themselves to find meaning in their trauma or to try to justify why it happened, but if you are experiencing some of these positive changes, I want you to embrace it.

Self-Love Tip #3: Accept Where You Are

Loving yourself after trauma involves accepting that some of your interactions out in the world are no longer going to be the same. You may not be eager to open yourself to others without getting to know them extremely well.  You may not be the risk-taker you used to be.  You may not want to interact with other people. There’s nothing wrong with that. After a child touches a hot stove and gets burned, I would assume and actually hope they’d be more skeptical to touch the stove again without knowing for sure that it’s off. It’s the same with you. Whether you’ve experienced sexual abuse in childhood, physical abuse as an adult, or emotional withdrawal from someone you loved and depended on, I would expect you to be at least a little more cautious in your personal relationships. I often remind my clients that allowing yourself to experience true love from friends and family is part of what makes life so worthwhile. But trauma recovery takes time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Other people may not understand you, but you do. You know why you’re protecting yourself. And I do too.

Self-Love Tip #4: Choose to Show Yourself Some Love

If you’ve been through trauma as a young child, you most likely grew up knowing what it was like to feel unloved. Being unloved not only includes the actual experience of abuse but neglect as well. After years of this, I get why you’ve learned to feel unworthy of love. Even if your trauma happened later on in life, you know what I’m talking about-- that feeling of not being good enough or not being worthy of love and attention. You actually may still be waiting for that love from a parent or partner that you never got. But that kind of love you’ve been yearning for probably isn’t going to ever come from them. YOU need to learn how to give yourself the love you have not received. Do you know why? Because you are worthy of love. So very worthy of love. People often ask me, “How do I love myself?” That’s such a big question and the answers may look different for each person.

One thing I usually say is that loving yourself is more than just the feeling of love but more like the act of love. 

These are some of my favorite acts of self-love:

• Participate in activities you enjoy (either alone or with someone else)

• Spend time with the people that you love and that love you

• Enjoy healthy foods but also indulge in a dessert that you love and enjoy every single bite!

• Find your favorite positive mantras and quotes and live by them. My favorites are “This too shall pass.”, “Beautiful are those whose brokenness gives birth to transformation & wisdom.”, and “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”

• Focus on what’s great about you. This can be harder for some people than others. If it is, start with the basics, “ I’m a really good listener” or “ I make my friends laugh a lot”.

• Prioritize your physical and mental health. Go to the gym, yoga, kickboxing, whatever! Just get your body moving. And find a therapist- preferably one who specializes in trauma. Having a trusted and skilled professional guide you through your trauma recovery will make all the difference for you in your journey. Even if you think your trauma isn’t really affecting you, it’s worth going to a therapist, even if it’s just to confirm that everything is okay.

Need a Little More? Let me help you!

If you live in New York and are interested in getting started with a therapist who specializes in trauma, I’m located in the Scarsdale area of Westchester and would love to work with you! To learn more about me and all the counseling services that I offer, explore my therapy website and feel free to send me an email at mguerrero@mindmattersmhc.com.

Wishing you all so much love because YOU deserve it! ~Dr. G.

BEGINNING THERAPY IN SCARSDALE, NY

Taking time for your mental health is key to overall wellbeing, especially as a young adult or working professional. Let’s get you feeling good so you can keep doing amazing things for the world! To begin counseling in my Westchester counseling office, follow these simple steps:

1. Click the button below to schedule our first session.

2. Meet with me, Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a professional and experienced therapist.

3. Begin to feel more peace and less worry about your life!

I want to be sure you are comfortable with this process from start to finish. If you still have insurance and procedural questions after reading this website, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first.

MORE THERAPY SERVICES IN WESTCHESTER, NY

From my Scarsdale therapy practice, I want to help you feel more comfortable, confident and connected to others. This is why I also provide therapy for teens, therapy for adults, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy. If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

CPT & EMDR: What’s the difference between these two trauma therapies?

A common question from those interested in trauma therapy is:

“What’s the best type of treatment that can help me?”

There are several types of effective trauma therapies, but I specifically am trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT).

In this post, I discuss some of the main differences between these two types of treatment to help you decide which one seems like a better fit for you.

EMDR is primarily known as trauma therapy but is used to treat other issues as well. CPT is only used for the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

EMDR is a type of treatment that enables you to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress associated with traumatic and negative life experiences. It’s an effective therapy that can help people struggling with a variety of issues including but not limited to, complex trauma, PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic illness, and low self-esteem.

CPT is an effective type of trauma treatment specifically for PTSD. Before determining if CPT is an appropriate treatment for you, a thorough PTSD assessment is necessary.

CPT focuses more on an individual’s thoughts about the trauma rather than the trauma memory. EMDR focuses on the worst parts of the trauma memory.

Although in CPT treatment, there is some focus on the actual trauma memory, CPT is more about your thoughts about the trauma. CPT teaches skills to analyze and challenge negative thoughts related to the experienced trauma. These skills will help you decide whether there are more helpful ways to think about your trauma and whether factual information about the trauma actually supports your thoughts or not. Throughout your treatment, you will decide whether it makes sense to take a new perspective about what happened to you.

EMDR focuses on the worst parts of the trauma memories with bilateral stimulation. Throughout an EMDR processing session, there will be brief moments of exposure to the trauma memory combined with the eye movements which help make the process more tolerable. However, you get to choose how much detail of the trauma memory you want to disclose to your therapist. While EMDR also focuses on your negative thoughts about yourself as a result of the trauma, EMDR is not primarily a cognitive treatment as CPT is. EMDR helps to connect your mind and body by connecting your thoughts to your body sensations and tensions. This treatment helps get both your brain and body on the same page.

CPT involves homework while EMDR doesn’t.

CPT involves weekly homework assignments designed to practice the skills that you will be learning in sessions. Completing these assignments is a big part of the treatment, the most important part in fact! Most people find that the more effort and energy they put into it, the more they get out of it.

EMDR doesn’t involve homework assignments but even though I wouldn’t call it homework per say, I strongly advise anyone in any type of trauma treatment to practice self-care and self-compassion.

CPT is typically 12 sessions while the length of EMDR treatment is dependent on various factors.

On average, CPT will consist of 12 sessions, meaning that if done once a week, your PTSD symptoms will have improved in just 3 months! There is no specific time frame for EMDR as some people can report a drastic improvement in just a few sessions, while others may need to be in treatment longer. The type of problem, life circumstances, and the amount of previous trauma will determine how many EMDR sessions are necessary.

These are just some of the basic differences between CPT and EMDR. Ultimately, patient preference is critical in decision making so make sure to discuss with your therapist your goals for therapy and together you can decide what works best for you!

BEGINNING THERAPY IN SCARSDALE, NY

Taking time for your mental health is key to overall wellbeing, especially as a young adult or working professional. Let’s get you feeling good so you can keep doing amazing things for the world! To begin counseling in my Westchester counseling office, follow these simple steps:

1. Click the button below to schedule our first session.

2. Meet with me, Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a professional and experienced therapist.

3. Begin to feel more peace and less worry about your life!

I want to be sure you are comfortable with this process from start to finish. If you still have insurance and procedural questions after reading this website, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first.

MORE THERAPY SERVICES IN WESTCHESTER, NY

From my Scarsdale therapy practice, I want to help you feel more comfortable, confident and connected to others. This is why I also provide therapy for teens, therapy for adults, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy. If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect!

Recover from Trauma with EMDR

Mental health issues do not discriminate.

Trauma can happen to anyone.

Young, old, rich, poor, black, white, brown.

You name it.

The only requirement to struggle with mental health is to be a living being.

 In my experience as a licensed mental health counselor, I have worked with many people experiencing a variety of struggles pertaining to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, interpersonal issues, and difficulties regulating emotions. However, almost all of the clients that I have worked with have experienced some type of trauma. Before I continue, I want to differentiate between little “t” traumas and big “t” traumas.

Big “T” Traumas and Little “t” Traumas

Most people are familiar with the big “t” traumas. These are events most likely associated with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that include acts of violence, sexual or physical abuse, combat/war zone, natural disaster, among other events of similar magnitude.

Little “t” traumas are not exactly life-threatening but do threaten your sense of self and exceed your capacity to cope. These include loss of significant relationships, emotional abuse, neglect from a caregiver, and unexpected life changes.

Differentiating between little “t” and big “t” traumas is very common in the mental health field but most people who specialize in trauma, as I do, recognize that trauma is not necessarily about the event itself and what category it falls under, but more about the impact left behind by the trauma. Experiencing a betrayal from a loved one may not be a life-threatening event but for some people, it can leave a deep, lasting impact on whether or not they experience safety in an interpersonal relationship again, while for someone else, they may not be that deeply impacted and can resolve this issue much easier.

How Our Brains Work to Protect Us from Trauma

Our brain works hard to protect us even in the face of trauma. When something negative happens to us, our brain tries to organize the event in efforts to understand it but sometimes, these disturbing memories get stuck in the wrong part of our brain. Traumatic memories sometimes get stuck in our feelings and in our bodies, rather than the cognitive part of our brain.

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of therapy that can help break up memories and shift them to where they belong. EMDR has been extensively researched and recognized as an effective treatment of trauma by the World Health Organization, American Psychiatric Organization, the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, among others.  However, many people do not actually know what an EMDR session consists of.

What happens during an EMDR Trauma Therapy Session?

 In an EMDR session, the client will recall a disturbing event, identifying the thoughts about one’s self or feelings that accompanied the event at the time it happened, while also identifying current thoughts or feelings pertaining to the experienced event. Examples of negative thoughts associated with distressing events include “I am not safe.” or “I am a failure.”  While recalling this event, the client will also undergo bilateral stimulation, which is the core element of EMDR. Bilateral stimulation consists of the use of visual, auditory, or tactile external stimulation occurring in a side-to-side pattern. Clients can choose which type of stimulation feels most comfortable to them. Some people prefer a light bar where light moves back and forth and they follow this light with their eyes. Others might prefer tappers that vibrate from both left and right hands or tones that sound back and forth between each ear.

Thoughts During an EMDR Session

Once the client and their therapist agree to the bilateral stimulation, reprocessing/desensitization begins. The disturbing event that the therapist and client decide to target is brought up along with the body sensations, emotions and thoughts while simultaneously undergoing bilateral stimulation. The therapist will guide their client to activate thoughts and feelings and will focus on past traumas, current stressors, or worries about the future. During an EMDR session, the client is in control the entire time with the brain really doing most of the work. The therapist will follow the client’s lead, prioritizing emotional safety and comfort. The therapist will guide the client through several sets of this, as more associations come up for the client. Each person will process information differently and there is absolutely no right or wrong way to process information during an EMDR session. Reprocessing will continue until the memory becomes less disturbing and is associated with more positive beliefs about one’s self, such as “I can trust others.” or “I am safe now.” A typical EMDR session lasts from 60-90 minutes while the number of sessions needed to process a traumatic event is dependent on the specific problem and the trauma history of the client.

Staying Safe During Your EMDR Therapy Session

 In order to ensure safety during EMDR, clients will be using several techniques such as grounding, relaxation, and mindfulness skills before, during, and after an EMDR session as taught by their therapist. The therapist will not begin EMDR unless they are sure that their client is ready and able to manage the feelings and sensations that may arise during treatment. During processing, the therapist will work to repeatedly ground their client by keeping them in touch with their current feelings and sense of safety to prevent them from drifting away from reality and into the traumatic experience. As with any other type of psychotherapy, after an EMDR session, there may be a temporary increase in distress as the processing of material and underlying feelings may continue. The therapist will be available to support the client if this were to occur and will review the skills that they have already trained their client in order to relieve the distress.

 As a trauma-informed therapist, I am hopeful that more people will discover EMDR and consider it as a form of treatment to live a life free from the aftermath of traumatic events. Anyone interested in experiencing EMDR should look for a trauma-informed licensed therapist with additional training in EMDR. As with any type of therapy, it is also of utmost importance to find a therapist whom you feel comfortable working with and trust.

• To learn more about EMDR, please visit emdria.org.

• To learn more or inquire about working with Minerva Guerrero, Ph.D., LMHC, please visit www.mindmattersmhc.com or email mguerrero@mindmattersmhc.com.

BEGINNING THERAPY IN SCARSDALE, NY

Taking time for your mental health is key to overall wellbeing, especially as a young adult or working professional. Let’s get you feeling good so you can keep doing amazing things for the world! To begin counseling in my Westchester counseling office, follow these simple steps:

1. Click the button below to schedule our first counseling session.

2. Meet with me, Dr. Minerva Guerrero, a professional and experienced therapist.

3. Begin to feel more peace and less worry about your life!

I want to be sure you are comfortable with this process from start to finish. If you still have insurance and procedural questions after reading this website, I am happy to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation first.

MORE THERAPY SERVICES IN WESTCHESTER, NY

From my Scarsdale therapy practice, I want to help you feel more comfortable, confident and connected to others. This is why I also provide therapy for teens, therapy for adults, trauma therapy, therapy for anxiety, and specialized techniques such as EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy. If you want to explore these options further, let’s connect! 

*This article first appeared on Brown Girls Mental Health December Digital and Print Magazine on November 27th, 2019. All proceeds from their magazine subscriptions supports their providing of relatable mental health resources to women of color.  www.browngirlsandmentalhealth.com